Fart Etiquette: How to Handle Gas in Public Without Dying of Shame
Everyone farts. The average person passes gas around 14 times a day, and a share of those will land at inconvenient moments. This is a practical guide to getting through those moments with your dignity more or less intact, and to not making things worse when someone else is the one caught out.
The General Principles
- Don't suppress it for hours. Holding in gas contributes to bloating and makes the eventual release louder. Step away, release, rejoin.
- Move, don't hide. A toilet, a stairwell, a quiet corridor or the outdoors will all handle a fart better than the room you're currently standing in.
- Own up if you must. A short, slightly amused "that was me, sorry" is usually less awkward than an elaborate cover-up.
- Never blame someone who can't defend themselves. Dogs don't mind, but blaming a quiet colleague is genuinely unkind.
At Work and in Meetings
Meeting rooms are acoustically terrible and socially tense — both of which make fart management harder. A few small adjustments help:
- Before a long meeting, avoid known trigger foods (beans, cruciferous veg, carbonated drinks, sugar-free gum).
- If you feel pressure building, excuse yourself rather than riding it out. Nobody will ask.
- Open-plan offices: a slow walk to a quieter part of the building is the industry-standard solution.
- Video calls: you are not safer than you think on an "unmuted" call. Your teammates can hear surprisingly well.
On a First Date
The biggest cause of first-date fart anxiety is trying to hold in gas for hours at a time, which mostly just produces a worse situation later. The better play is the same as any public setting: if you need a bathroom break, take it. Nobody has ever held it against someone for excusing themselves for a few minutes during dinner.
If something audible does escape, a brief laugh-it-off usually goes further than a long apology. It's also, counter-intuitively, often a green flag: the date who laughs is the date worth seeing again.
On a Plane
Planes are a special case. Cabin pressure is lower than at sea level, which lets intestinal gas expand — so passengers genuinely do fart more on long flights than on the ground. A few practical notes:
- Before flying, skip the big portion of beans, the fizzy drink and the onion-heavy sandwich.
- Wear loose clothing at the waistband. It sounds minor; it isn't.
- Walk the aisle occasionally on long flights. It helps digestion and — if timed right — relocates the problem away from your neighbour.
- The toilet is always an option, even if it's a small queue.
At the Gym
Heavy breathing, stretching, core work and pressure changes all contribute to more gym farts. Most regulars have been there, and most regulars don't react. The unwritten rule is: don't comment on anyone else's, and don't over-explain your own.
Around Family
Families vary enormously here. Some are perfectly happy with open farting and a bit of banter; some aren't. The only real rule is to respect the household you're in. If you're visiting a partner's family for the first time and haven't yet learned their norms, default to polite — it's easier to loosen up later than to walk back a bad first impression.
When Someone Else Farts
This is the part most people get wrong. A few guidelines:
- Don't make a show of it. A big reaction amplifies the embarrassment. A small, understanding smile is fine.
- Don't identify the source. "Who was that?" puts a group on the spot and humiliates one person. Not worth it.
- If it's obviously a kid or an older relative, just move on. It's rarely worth a comment either way.
- If someone admits to it, let them move past it quickly. Don't dwell.
Pranks, Whoopee Cushions and Timers
Fart pranks — including whoopee cushions, our fart timer and app-based gags — are fun in the right context and miserable in the wrong one. Good pranks aim to make everyone in the room laugh, including the target. Bad pranks humiliate someone on purpose, or worse, blame a real fart on them.
- Don't prank anyone who has told you to stop.
- Don't prank at events where a sudden noise is genuinely stressful — funerals, exams, medical appointments.
- Don't prank strangers in enclosed public spaces.
- Own the prank. A prank you hide from isn't funny; it's just weird.
Kids
Children find farts hilarious. That's fine — and also something to shape a little. A reasonable middle line is: "Farting is normal and funny. We still try to do it politely — move away from other people if you can, say excuse me, don't make a big deal of other people's." Shame isn't necessary, but basic consideration is a useful habit.
The Short Version
Everyone farts. The only real etiquette rules are: don't hold it for hours, don't make other people's worse, don't punch down, and don't blame the dog unfairly. The dog has enough going on.
For related reading, see our flatulence facts, our gassy foods guide and how to reduce fart smell.